Anonymous asked: I fail to see how crew morale could be improved with a terribly edited holo of a member of the family Iguanidae and the image of my head.

I’m sure Bones would love to explain it to you. Why don’t you go find him down in sickbay?

Anonymous asked: Evidently it was optimistic to presume you have ceased your idiotic, childish waste of Starfleet resources.

Don’t you see, Spock? I’m boosting crew morale! That’s hardly a waste of Starfleet resources.

I figure that with such a long absence on my part (blame the Klingons) I’d have to bring Spock back with a bit of a… er… “bang”.

Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink7(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

… Spock, is that you?

Anonymous asked: IF YOU AND SPOCK WERE TO EVER HAVE SEX WHO WOULD TOP AND WHAT POSITION WOULD YOU DO IT IN?

I know I told you all to ask me embarrassing questions about Spock, but this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

And to answer your question. Obviously I would top because I am awesome and so is my dick. Also, because Spock is fucking ridiculous, we’d probably end up doing it from behind so he could study boring shit that doesn’t interest me and run experiments that also don’t interest me at the same time. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to keep that up for long because, yeah, I am just that awesome.

Anonymous asked: What's the weirdest dream you've ever had about Spock?

The one where Spock went all housewife on me and did my laundry. He wouldn’t let me help either because I apparently suck at folding my own socks and seeing my incompetence pissed him off. Oh! And did I mention that he was doing all this in a frilly, pink apron and nothing else?

Yeah. I think that’s where this “weird dream” became a full-blown nightmare.

doubleplusawesome asked: This blog is genius and wonderful and I love you. <3

SEE, SPOCK? I AM FUCKING AWESOME. THE INTERNET SAYS SO.

Anonymous asked: Wait a minute. I thought captains had their own private quarters. So why do you share with Spock? This seems suspicious.

Sadly, not even the Captain gets to have his own bathroom anymore. Though, I guess I should be thankful that I have my own bedroom at least. Spock’s room is ridiculously hot. Every time I go in there I feel like I’m stepping into a sauna. It’s ridiculous.

Honestly, you couldn’t pay me enough to live in that room with him. Spock’s hot enough already. The last thing I need is to live in a furnace with a living furnace.

Anonymous asked: This is for Spock:
Just wanted to let you know, Mr. Spock, that I understand your pain. I have had friends like Captain Kirk before. And my shower also gets clogged up pretty frequently as well.

Hey! My chest is smooth, thank you very much. It’s not my hair that’s clogging up that drain.

Anonymous asked: KEPTIN
IS IT TRUE THE COMMANDER'S PENIS IS DOUBLE RIDGED? SULU SAYS NO BUT I VANTED TO ASK YOU FIRST.

Why am I suddenly the expert on Spock’s dick? Do you all think I peep on him in the bathroom while he showers or something? Is that it?